Back off! Put this book away RIGHT NOW.

Don’t you know that this book REALLY does not want to be read? It will BITE. And SNAP. And NIBBLE.

If you try to read this book it will play all sorts of strange and sneaky tricks on you. Outrageous tricks and ridiculous tricks. And you will have to promise some very silly things to unlock all this book’s secrets…

A monster may fall out, the book may make your grown-up SHOUT one page and w h i s p e r the next… and before you know it a WORDQUAKE may mix up all your letters and make it impoffible to read thif book or eat a cheefe fandwich. How UNHELPFUL.

Don’t read this book. It’s too much for you. Buy a hat instead.

What’s that? You’ve already read The Book That Does Not Want To Be Read? Well, this is a completely different book entirely. This book REALLY doesn’t want to be read.

So, we’d recommend not reading either of these books. You’re not ready.

Or are you?