That Time I Got Drunk And Saved A Human

When I was a little girl, my Ma used to read me stories every night. Some were epic adventures with high stakes and exciting twists, while others were of princesses trapped in towers guarded by fierce dragons. The pitiful princess would be stuck inside all day pining for her prince charming to come and rescue her. I always hated those stories. I couldn't imagine why the lazy thing didn't just get up and leave. Ironic since I was now stuck in that same situation. Turns out, when a dragon holds you hostage, he doesn't just let you get up and leave.
Who knew?
When I thought I saw hope on the horizon, that hope was smashed to bits by - you guessed it - another damn dragon.