Art dealer and assassin Charlie Mortdecai has fled to Jersey, taking his thug Jock along with him, just in case. For now though he's had enough of secret government agencies, of stolen paintings, of terrifying Chinese gangs, and he's getting on surprisingly well with his nubile young wife. But there's no peace for the wicked - and Charlie can sometimes be very wicked indeed. When it seems there's a sexual pervert at loose on the island targeting nice middle-class ladies, Charlie takes it upon himself to find the deviant. Which is how he finds himself in the dead of night up against a tree, his ear nailed to the trunk...